Yesterday, I was keeping on top of my activities, logging everything I did into my homemade time keeping excel spreadsheet.

But by the end of the day I felt stressed, frustrated, and not at all liberated by all that structure.

I’ve been told by many advisors, both professional and personal, astrological and entrepreneurial, to get focused, get structured.

But it wasn’t working. Or so I thought.

The problem, though, wasn’t in structuring my time. The problem was how I was going about my activities.

I was driven. I was running. I was running away from… that nameless fear that hounds us all: fear of death. Death of myself as an entrepreneur. My virtual question was “What if I fail? What if I’m no good at this entrepreneur thing?”

Okay. What if I do fail? What if I am no good at it?

Then I die. Well, I won’t die, but the dream of this company with this aim (helping writers) dies. Or so it seems. It feels that way.

But I didn’t have such a sanguine attitude late last night when I was twisting and turning in my bed, mulling my day over. I was hot. My inner thoughts were burning me up from the inside out. In a good way. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was tired of being stuck, of feeling stuck by my mental barriers that locked me up so tight I felt I couldn’t breath.

I burned up. I was the phoenix. I fell asleep determined to listen to my inner rhythm, so I could experience the freedom in the structure, the leisure in my time tracking.

I was driven by fear yesterday. That didn’t work so well for me. Today I am driven by freedom and leisure. And I’m still tracking. I’m still structured in in how I go about my day.

What drives you? Is it working for you? What do you want to be driven by?

As Artist Entrepreneurs, we get to make the tools of business fit in creatively with the tools of art.

My way is to dialog in writing between the two. What is your way?